I got chris browned last night
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
