I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
