I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
