Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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