girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
