i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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