saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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