Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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