her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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