that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
