This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
