y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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