Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
