there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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