please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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