TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
