he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
