oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
