Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
NoShamevember. You game?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
