There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
