Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
