Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
