I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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