I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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