doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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