The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
