I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
