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As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
