I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
