I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
