I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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