I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
