i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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