the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
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