Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm always down for nudity.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
