his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
