I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
