I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
