You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
