I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
