I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
