He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
