Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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