i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just googled if crying burns calories
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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