i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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