You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
