38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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