who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
