yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
