i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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